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procrastination is a bit more than just an honest admission of why you have not yet gotten around to doing your laundry, finishing that paper, going to the grocery store, finding a new job.

thing is, how often do you think about why you are procrastinating, and furthermore, do you think about the things you put off that really count? everything we do, or rather, don’t, is for a reason. i’m not a huge fan of clinical therapy, but i’m not going to pretend psychology is bull. it makes sense. for example, i am damn afraid of making a real commitment to a major [again], doing well in school, getting into the program, and finding out it wasn’t for me. or finding out i’m not REALLY good at it. maybe that is why i am such a slacker when it comes to school stuff sometimes. i want to stress the “sometimes” in that sentence. for some reason when things don’t really matter to me, i’m willing to work harder. what’s that about?

after considering all of that, i am forced to think about the more life-oriented things i procrastinate. i am referring to those little things we are asked to do that we put off in the name of sitting on a couch and going through our everyday routine. i am really proud to say i will almost always be willing to do something even if i am not in the mood, simply for the sake of change. i believe it is important to push yourself when you feel tired, sad, whatever, to change your setting and perhaps remedy your feelings. if only for a little while, you may feel significantly better or distracted from your previous less-than-desirable feelings.

i don’t have a great conclusion to these thoughts. i suppose this entry is more or less just a public service announcement. frequently i feel uncomfortable asking people to do even the tiniest thing different from what they are already (and always) doing. it’s like they cannot will themselves to simply do what they don’t necessarily WANT to do, because it seems what they want is to be numb and still. i understand being depressed and cocooning myself from new, uncontrollable things. i also understand when i have forced myself to suck it up and do something different, i end up feeling a lot better.

what is familiar is not always the safest. in fact, i believe it is a lot less safe when you consider what you are missing out on; growth, new memories, living in the present world. indeed, there is a lot to be said for having a goofy trip of errand running when you get to spend it with a good friend.